Showing posts with label Friends. Show all posts

Sat Night Journal | A Life Learning

So as I lay in bed on a Saturday night watching bride wars, thinking am I ever going to get married (why do us girls love watching rom coms knowing they can get us sad ha), my mind started to have a wonder.

Before I speak, Should I speak? | Thursday Thoughts

Hey everyone!

This will probably be quite a controversial post. I've always been the type of person that loves giving advice, and helping people in situations their in because of experiences I've been through. I'm an opinionated person and will always tell a person what I truly think in order to help them. If I just tell them what they want to hear, I don't believe that's being a good friend and will help them, and a lot of the time i'm right about what I tell people (sorry to sound big headed). This can become quite frustrating and also sad, when you give advice, but then have to sit back and watch people go through things you know is going to result in a negative effect.

But I've been thinking lately, is it always worth it?
This can come across quite harsh, but sometimes a better approach to giving your opinion or advice is to not say anything at all. Sometimes, by not saying anything, you can actually help a person more.

Let me give you an example, when it comes to guys, my friends always say i'm the best at giving advice and always come to me. But when we're in a happy place, sometimes we find it hard to see things from an outer perspective because were so blinded by how happy we are or think we are. 

Sometimes by saying your opinion to try and help someone, it can result in the opposite effect, because they don't want to believe it.

What we forget to remember, is our friends have our best interest at heart and can see things we sometimes can't see. However, I've come to realise that no matter what you say to a person to help them, they will of course do what they feel is right in the end. The positive outcome of this, is that you put the thought in their head. But people always learn through their own experiences, and sometimes have to find out the hard way - I for one am the first to hold my hands up to this, regarding my relationship post which you can view HERE. I couldn't see from an outer perspective where people were coming from.

I'd like to think of myself as an approachable person and never want someone to feel like they can't express themselves to me, because of what they don't want to hear. I've learn't that saying a positive and negative of the situation has a better outcome. People then feel happier about the situation they are in and are more likely to ask for your advice and take in what you say.

Is it better to just keep quiet sometimes? What are your opinions on this? I'd love to hear :)