Positivity | FOCUS ON YOURSELF, Stop Comparing

Hey,

Recently I've been thinking about the way society is these days, it’s easy to think negatively about yourself or life. Social media definitely has a big impact on things, i know i'm not the only one who compares themselves to girls pictures on instagram ha.

It's so easy to over think little things and get stressed. I’m 23 in August and always think what if I never get married or have children. It sounds ridiculous because I’m young, but I’ve always been scared of being alone and not finding “the one”. I think a good way of staying focused and happy is to see a positive outlook on every situation, and to focus on what you’re doing, not what others are doing – "your speed doesn't matter, forward is still forward".

 Here's an example of a negative situation I turned into a positive.. All my life I've had people doubt my intelligence, call me dumb, stupid, or just make fun of the way I talk for example because I have quite an innocent voice (people love to mimic what I say lol).

When I was at Primary school, my head teacher told my parents I wouldn’t get into a grammar school. When I was at Grammar school and college, everyone doubted my ability to do well in life and go to University. But I succeeded, graduated, and now work in Marketing which is what I’ve always wanted to do.

At University, the boys I lived in Halls with, as well as others, although they were “friends”, would always make comments implying I’m dumb – bearing in mind I actually did better than all of them….awks.

I don’t mean that in a big headed way either. It used to get me really down, and made me doubt my own ability, I would always think “I can’t do it”, but I’ve been lucky to succeed in everything that I’ve set my mind to, because I worked hard. Now I view the positive outlook of the situation, it made me more focused and determined to prove everyone wrong as well as do it for myself. As a person I admit I can be quite dopey, but there is a difference between being dopey and dumb, I’m not dumb and definitely wouldn’t want anyone thinking that.

Key to a positive life:

1 - Never let someone tell you, you can’t do something

You honestly can do anything you set your mind to, be an optimist: view the positive aspect – for e.g. if you don’t get a job you really wanted, everything happens for a reason, a better opportunity will come along in the future.

2 – Keep busy

Although time to yourself is important and healthy, I believe keeping busy makes you feel more productive, focused, and helps you set your mind towards making more money and achieving your goals – although I’m sure it’s different for everyone, what’s your view?

3 – Who you hang out with

I swear this is such a key factor. You begin to act like the main people you talk to and hang around with all the time. I use to be “friends” with people in the past that just made me feel negative about myself, life, everything, and did not benefit my life in any positive way. One person actually unintentionally started changing me – think wisely.

What’s your key to  a positive life?

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Dating | A Blessing in Disguise

Hey everyone,

I know it's been a while since I last posted! I recently finally got a graduate job in marketing, wahoo! So I've been sooo tired trying to get used to this full time work life haha. I hope to soon be back to posting every week.

Something that's been on my mind recently when it comes to dating, is us girls usually get so worked up and over think so many things when we start talking to new guy or were seeing them or have been on a few dates etc.. Sometimes we over think so much because we are so into them, and want it to work, that we start thinking so much into it "what do I say" "how should I reply" "how does that sound", we need to remember to just be our-self.

I know it's so much harder when your actually in the situation. But this was actually something my guy friend always says to me.

For e.g, i'l be telling him about a conversation i'm having with a guy I'm speaking to, or message him saying "he said this I don't know what to say" or "how does ... sound". His reply back to me is always "stop over thinking, just be yourself. If he doesn't like you for you, think of it as a blessing".

While I may get upset that things may not work out between me and the guy, or he stops talking to me or something, I've now realised it is actually a blessing. Why are we spending so much time and effort into trying to make a guy like us a lot, and getting upset if they don't, when we want to put our all into someone who actually appreciates us for who we are, and who's intentions towards us are good.

I do think these days where has the romance gone? It's quite hard to find it these days, or even find someone who wants a relationship. I'm 22, and I find that a lot of guys who are single just don't want to settle down till their like 26 or over. People always say you meet someone when you least expect it. I really like to think this isn't true, but I find that this is the case most of the time.

On a positive note, for anyone who's currently speaking to someone, or a guy isn't treating them good, instead of thinking of the negative fact it didn't work, think of the positive outcome.. it may have not worked out with this guy because your going to meet someone else and have an even better connection with them, and you save yourself the hurt in the long run.

So I've learn't to not get so down when things don't work out with a guy. Instead, I lift myself up and think "I want someone who is going to put 100 in me like I would for him", everything happens for a reason.

Instagram | A Social Media Date Gone Wrong

Hey everyone,

So I'm sure I'm not the only one who's spoken to someone from social media they've never actually met, I mean it's not an everyday thing, but it happens sometimes! You know, they add you, follow you, and you eventually start talking.. has anyone ever had a successful experience of this?! It's nice socialising with people you've never met sure, but I hate the thought of going through that awkward moment when you have to meet for the first time, can't we skip 5 minutes into it when we've met?!

I'm going to share an experience I had, a few years ago.. when I was 18-19, and it was by far the worst date I've had haha! One that I remember so vividly..

Me and this guy had been following each other on Instagram a while, I can't say how we even found each other, you know how it is though.. when you and someone keep liking each others posts for ages but you've never actually spoken. Anyway, back in the day when I was 18-19, Oceana, Kingston used to be the place I would go to allll the time! It was the local place I would always see everyone I knew, and guess who I saw?!

Yep.. I'm at the bar and notice the guy standing next to me is kind of good looking, then I think to myself, I swear I know this guy. He said to me "Do I know you? I swear I have you on Instagram" haha so we got talking, exchanged numbers. 

He asked me to go cinema, and that's where it all went wrong.

I got ready, made myself look nice, and I'm standing in the cinema waiting for him.. 
Half hour later..he eventually turned up. We got to the till and the guy asks "Would you like one or two tickets?" He replies "one".

I don't know about you, but I always think it's a gentlemen thing for a guy to pay on a first date, especially if they ask you out and if their trying to make a good impression! Of course I came prepared and didn't expect anything, so I bought my own ticket, he bought himself a drink and didn't offer me one so I bought myself a drink aswel! Good start so far haha! 

We're in the cinema, he keeps trying to kiss me, I don't mind a cheeky little kiss but the way he was coming on I could sense his intentions from then on, so I pulled away and just distanced myself.

When the film finished, we walked outside and he asked if I was hungry, "mm I'm not that hungry" I said, thinking he would offer to go for a snack or drink, but his reply was "fuck it, lets just go Mcdonalds" - got a keeper right there! lool.

I guess he did buy me a 99p popcorn chicken *awks*. We ended up getting on well though, we were talking for like an hour just about everything, I started changing my mind about him, until I realised instead of looking at me he was looking at other girls behind me.

We left Mcdonald's (that's embarrassing to even say haha), and just went for a walk, we was walking and saw the park so we went in to just go on the swings (your never too old for swings haha). We were talking, getting on well, until these 3 girls started walking towards me. I could sense they were going to say something to me and all I kept thinking was "their gona start on me, their walking over, what do I do - I mean, i'm with a guy on a first link, this is so embarrassing". It was what I would describe as a racial attack. And it only gets worse....

They came over and started shouting things and I had no idea who these girls were, never seen them in my life! And if you see me i'm a 5ft 1, petite little thing. I was just looking at this guy like so embarrassed and the park was enclosed with a gate so it wasn't like we could easily walk off like that.

"Do you like BBQ sauce" they said to me. So you can guess what they were about to do next (this was by far the most embarrassing thing of my life it hurts to even write it out lool). So yeah, they started squirting sauce ALL over me, my face, clothes, everything. I was putting my arm out like "can you stop doing that", but they continued. I mean, I can stick up for myself for sure, I'm not a fighter though! You would think being with a guy he would at least try protect me a bit from 3 big girls, but nope, he stood their and watched -  awks. My thoughts....

So yeah as I said it was a racial attack, so after a bit they actually squirted some on him, and he started running off leaving me! "Quick, come on" he kept saying, i'm thinking wait a minute.. they started on me and you watched, they put a tiny put on you and you run off and leave me!

My tiny legs couldn't even keep up with him. Luckily, my house was 2 minutes from the park so we called it a day, finally. The next day he actually messaged about going out again *confused* my reply was "sorry i'm looking for a man, not a boy".. awks.

Has anyone ever had any bad dates? Feel free to share!

Before I speak, Should I speak? | Thursday Thoughts

Hey everyone!

This will probably be quite a controversial post. I've always been the type of person that loves giving advice, and helping people in situations their in because of experiences I've been through. I'm an opinionated person and will always tell a person what I truly think in order to help them. If I just tell them what they want to hear, I don't believe that's being a good friend and will help them, and a lot of the time i'm right about what I tell people (sorry to sound big headed). This can become quite frustrating and also sad, when you give advice, but then have to sit back and watch people go through things you know is going to result in a negative effect.

But I've been thinking lately, is it always worth it?

This can come across quite harsh, but sometimes a better approach to giving your opinion or advice is to not say anything at all. Sometimes, by not saying anything, you can actually help a person more.

Let me give you an example, when it comes to guys, my friends always say i'm the best at giving advice and always come to me. But when we're in a happy place, sometimes we find it hard to see things from an outer perspective because were so blinded by how happy we are or think we are. 

Sometimes by saying your opinion to try and help someone, it can result in the opposite effect, because they don't want to believe it.

What we forget to remember, is our friends have our best interest at heart and can see things we sometimes can't see. However, I've come to realise that no matter what you say to a person to help them, they will of course do what they feel is right in the end. The positive outcome of this, is that you put the thought in their head. But people always learn through their own experiences, and sometimes have to find out the hard way - I for one am the first to hold my hands up to this, regarding my relationship post which you can view HERE. I couldn't see from an outer perspective where people were coming from.

I'd like to think of myself as an approachable person and never want someone to feel like they can't express themselves to me, because of what they don't want to hear. I've learn't that saying a positive and negative of the situation has a better outcome. People then feel happier about the situation they are in and are more likely to ask for your advice and take in what you say.

Is it better to just keep quiet sometimes? What are your opinions on this? I'd love to hear :)

2016 | That Inner Voice - "Just Do It"

Hey everyone,

Happy New Year :)

I hope you all enjoyed your night, what did you get up to? I went to a club called "Libertine" in Oxford Circus, London, which is amazing! I definitely recommend going. I wore the most amazing sparkly dress. Sequins are such a fashion statement right now and I really wanted an outfit that would stand out and this dress is just beautiful. It was from Asos, Petite True Decadence and £48 reduced to £21.50 - bargain!

So this was the only photo I managed to get NYE due to alcohol haha, it really doesn't do justice to the beauty/sparkly effect of the dress, so you can find the link to the dress HERE.

As 2016 has begun, I thought I would post a few of my goals and things about myself I want to improve. It's never too late to do something you've always wanted/thought about doing.

1. Confidence

2015 definitely taught me that I need to have more confidence in myself. I always think the worst of things or think I can't do something, when usually, I end up achieving it or doing it. Not only that, I get so nervous to go on dates! I'm not shy at all, I'm bubbly, talkative, I don't know why I get so scared because once i'm their I have a really good time (most of the time haha) so I want to not be so scared and just tell myself to do it. If it doesn't work out, I don't need to see them again, but if I don't go, I'l never know what could of happened - I need to keep telling myself that.

Positive mindset = Positive outcomes!

2. Your Circle

Remember the importance of positive, motivational people in your life. The people you talk to and hang around with in life has a major impact on your mindset and the person you act like. Surrounding yourself with friends that encourage you to do better are people worth keeping close.

3. Increase My Blog Followers

I only recently started blogging and I love it. I love how I can express anything on here and everyone is so friendly. I love talking, giving advice, and reading people's blogs - especially lifestyle posts! I feel like it's expanding my mindset, helping me to become more creative and I like the social aspect. I hope to achieve at least 100 followers within the next few months and thanks to everyone that's read my blog so far!

4. Hit the Gym!!!

I've been joined at the gym since July and been 3 times.. this is really bad of me haha. I used to be a gym addict at University and go 4 times a week. Since third year I stopped going and really found it hard to get the motivation to start it up again. I definitely want to tone up and exercise regularly to be healthy. And looking good for summer is always a main motivation!

5. Get a Graduate Job in Marketing

I graduated from University in September and as many graduates will understand, it is so hard to get a job after you graduate! One of the reasons I started blogging was because Marketing comes into it, and I really wanted to do something to give employers that extra nudge to hire me. I thought, what will I be good at and enjoy, that will also help me pursue my career. As I've continued to blog, i'm thinking of other opportunities that could arise from this. I really enjoy it and am excited for what the future holds (big goals are never too crazy!!).

What are your goals for 2016? Is there anything you want to improve about yourself?

Relationships | What goes on behind closed doors

Hey everyone,

I was quite hesitant about writing this post and my reason for it is;

1. I'm not looking for sympathy - but to share my experience with others in/who have been in the same position know they are not alone

2. I feel like it's closure as theirs a lot of things I've kept to myself

When it comes to relationships, couples can look so happy on the outside but you never know what goes on behind closed doors, and I think girls especially, when they love someone their more hesitant to not tell their friends certain things about their other half because they don't want them thinking bad of someone they love and we always defend them no matter what - it's easier to think of all the good reasons to stay with someone but when the negatives outweigh the positives is it really worth it?

Its crazy to think how happy, confident and positive I am today compared to a year or two ago. In my 1st year of Uni I met this guy who I became so close with, best friends, and I thought, I've had a lot of close people in my life but no one has come near to this. I remember one time I had the flu really bad & couldn't get out of bed at Uni, and he came and left medicine outside my door because I didn't want to open it in the state I looked. And another, I was at a club very drunk & called him crying as I had lost everyone, and he picked me up, brought me a jacket and took me home and put me to bed. I thought I was so lucky to have someone like this in my life.

Then it all changed when we ended up in a relationship together a year later. I think back now and the person he was when we were friends, I could love everyday, and the person he was when he was my boyfriend was completely different.

I've had guys hurt me before, but isn't going out with your best friend better? You think they know you inside out, you feel comfortable with them, and you don't need to worry about them hurting you in a way that other guys might.

Quickly things changed, he became controlling, negative, he constantly put me down about myself and nothing he said about my looks, personality, anything to do with me was positive. I'd gone from being a happy confident person who felt 100% comfortable in front of him, to not being able to look him in the eyes when he was near me because I felt like I looked ugly. I didn't understand, because I showed him so much love, I was always their for him. I think when people who always put you down is an insecurity within themselves, because friends, other halves, are mean't to support you, and make your life better and positive, not make you feel so bad about yourself.

Besides always putting me down, he brainwashed me into thinking the only real person I had in my life was him. My number was changed so he knew when I had given someone my number, he tried to turn me against my own friends saying they had been speaking to him and I didn't know who my real friends were (however I don't doubt my best friends one bit so I never believed him). To this day my own friends don't even know, but when we argued sometimes he would hit me. And he would tell me he would never speak to me again if I went clubbing or if I didn't do what he said.

It sounds silly because you think why wouldn't I just leave him. But he had made me feel so alone thinking I only had him, that I would of rather stayed with him, and of course, deep down I did love him - besides the way he acted, because of the friendship we originally had, I was holding on to that person I thought he was. "You have no-one but me, i'm the only real person in your life, you don't even know your own friends". 

Eventually, we broke up. But he would still call me every minute of the day and just wouldn't allow me to move on, "your mine, your not allowed to talk to boys".

I remember in June when I got my Uni results it was such a happy day for me and I called him saying I got a 2:1 - and his reply was, you should of worked harder.

After University finished, I went on holiday with my girls, and everything changed from then on. I had such an amazing time and completely forgot about him. I came back and thought only I can make myself happy, I don't need someone who constantly brings me down.

I started going out more, talking to people who made my life better and positive, who inspired and motivated me to want to be a better person and do better in life. I thought I don't need him and his negativity - he adds nothing to my life.

To this day, we don't really talk. He calls me now and then but I don't answer, if I do, I end up hanging up because he says something negative. It's sad because I really do miss the friendship we had, but I've learn't in life you need to surround yourself with positive people in order to live a happy life.

The reason I have my blog today is because my friend motivated me to do something I would like to help my career, and my other friend has her own blog and helped me make mine - this is the kind of people you need in your life.

Don't ever let anyone tell you something negative about yourself - friends lift you up. Don't be afraid to let go of something that you know deep down is no good for you - I wish I did sooner. My life is so happy and positive now.

(That's a lot off my chest!) I hope this can make others feel better about any situation they may be in. Thanks for reading :)

Foundation Review | Armani vs Dior

Hey guys!

So I thought I'd do a review on Armani Luminous Silk vs Dior Star Foundation. Firstly, my skin type is oily and I like foundations that give a dewy look.

Armani Luminous Silk:

I've been hearing good reviews about this for ages, its priced at £40 and comes in loads of different shades. The title "Luminious Silk" sounds quiet elegant and appealing and really does what it says. The colour is an exact match to my skin tone - shade 6.5.

I love that the bottle comes with a pump, and its medium sized compared to the Dior, so is perfect in a make up bag.

I've been through a lot of foundations and this is by far my favourite, especially if you like the dewy look. It makes your skin look amazing, glowy, healthy and on a night out I apply quite a few layers and it never gives a cakey look! Even though I have oily skin it never makes me look shiny in a bad way.

I apply this with a foundation brush, it's so lightweight aswel! No matter how many layers I apply, it always feels light on my skin and I can wear this for hours - another reason why I love it. This is a picture of me wearing it, as you can see it gives an amazing glow.

The only downside I would say is if you have any spots, because of the luminious look this gives, I feel like it actually highlights spots rather than conceal them - so the coverage, its not the best.

Have any of you tried this foundation? What are your thoughts?

Dior Stars:

Okay so this foundation the bottle is a lot bigger. It also has a pump which is an advantage, is SPF 30 and is priced at £32.50.

The coverage on this foundation is medium and you can add multiple layers to give a flawless, but non-cakey look. For spots etc, I think it's a good foundation and conceals well.

However, the SPF in it makes it awful for flashback. I can't wear it anymore because I realised that it makes me look like a ghost in photos! And photos are a must!!! As well as that, one time when it was quite hot outside and it actually made me break out in some spots. Here's a bad photo to show you the difference between my face and skin colour (bearing in mind I was colour matched and this is an exact match to my skin tone).

Awful colour difference and picture!! It's a shame because it is actually a good foundation.

On a positive note, the foundation is lightweight and feels nice on my skin when wearing it. I applied this with a foundation brush, although having read various reviews and hearing the make-up artist who did my make over when I purchased it, a beauty blender is a better application to apply it as it gives a more flawless look.

Have you tried either of these foundations?